I am in an empty white room. There are a man and a woman looking at me. I don’t know how old they are. They introduce themselves as Elder Brother and Younger Sister. They are Death, and so am I. They tell me a soul is waiting for us to take it. It is snowing in Mexico. There is a man in the woods, and his hunting dogs bark and whine at him as he bleeds in the snow. I cannot take his soul. I know him, I loved him. He is older now, but he recognizes me. Who am I?
I dreamt that I was lying in a field filled w/ white now starring in the eyes of a red fox. That day- I took the backroads home & when turning a corner, a Fox was in the middle of the road looking in my direction & as I got closer it ran off into a field w/ another fox.
i dreamt i drove back to where i was before and the snow started piling up again, in the middle of july. you were sleeping in my bed when i arrived.
I’m waiting in a sanctuary, there’s stained glass windows, long aisles of red carpet and empty pews all facing the front. At the front there is a one throne for the Queen. I’m under the throne peeking out from behind one of the legs. I’m a mouse. I know I’m the Queen’s mouse. I never see the Queen. I don’t know what I’m waiting for or why I have to be quiet. I don’t know what this means.
My family and I follow a man back to his house. He is getting nervous. We park at the top of the hill and come down to feed his cats while he is gone.
There’s nothing like the stillness of the morning.
at a scary version of the zoo. we all have huge feet like trolls. the animal cages are all deep pits like looking down into a well and i think there are people down in there, sounds like kids. nobody believes me so i sneak inside the pit.
I crossed a bridge from America to London, where I was pregnant & went to an art museum & was surrounded by swimming pools in pastel light which I could not swim in.
I dreamt of photos of you, black and white and some in color, taken by someone else. M and I this summer, they were titled. Somehow the way she used “M” was more a breach of our sacred bond than the images of your togetherness. In the photos you kissed, smiled, shared your beauty the way you once did with me. Still bashful in front of a camera, still handsome and serious and smiling.
I am walking down the isle at my parents second wedding when i trip over myself and fall to the ground. a guest sitting near me helps me up. i’m holding and balancing a very full martini.
In my dream I am driving fast through a forested area with a large dog in my car. The dog can speak and tells me he needs to catch a flight to his job, and we are late. We arrive to the airport but the plane has already left. I get a phone call from my sister, who is apparently the dog’s boss, and she yells at me.
A loud voice shouts at me to paint an onion.
I’m at my therapists office. She’s very old and fat. I specifically note how fat she was. We are in the bathroom and she has this little machine with a wheel on it and she’s talking about sexual touch and turning the wheel on my inner forearm. She’s shaking and can’t really hold the machine so she calls in this woman, her assistant or something to help.
She shows off to the assistant this pendant I had given her. I don’t recognize the pendant. Either it’s not the one I gave her or I’ve never given her a pendant before. It’s a gold oval locket with a saint on it and it’s thick for no reason. I keep repeating “I was assaulted” “I was assaulted”. As I hear my words being said I realize it means rape or something but I’m trying to say held at gunpoint or similar. They say that assaulted can mean that.
The therapist is now moving around some drawings that I assume her patients have made. One catches my eyes. It’s a flag of sorts. A rectangle divided in three, with each section painted red, yellow and green. In each section there is a black and white symbol. I can’t only remember one: an Easter Island head.
My ex’s family want me back but he doesnt. Then Hozier tells the ex he’s a fool and that I should be with him instead.
In love with someone younger from school. She brings me into the bathroom and tells me this really evil girl will not allow us to be seen together. I say I’m down to keep seeing her in secret.
I am flying over a thick, green forest and towards an old wooden mansion hidden in the middle of a sea of trees. As I enter the bedroom I feel at home, as if all furniture was handmade by ma grandfather, all sheets made by my grandmother. There were animals in the room, birds, rabbits, deers. It was a peacful place. Walking towards the bedroom door I look through the keyhole. In the corridor I see my mother looking at me, her face almost grey and without emotion. Still looking through the keyhole I suddenly see a baby in the room beside me sitting on the floor. Next to it, a wolf in abnormal size. The wolf tears the baby apart and eats it. After seeing that, i look back into the corridor for my mother. She then slowly walks away and out of sight.
A girl I know (but do not trust) is walking down the street hand in hand with my father. I see her from my car and in seeing me she let’s go of his hand and walks in the other direction. I send her an angry, threatening text message and wake up in a rage.
I sometimes have the same dream over and over. Where I walk into a ditch or fall down a flight of stairs or even out of a moving car. I wonder what all this means?
Someone I love appears in my dreams- but won’t look at me. Will kiss me and hold me. Push me away, talk to me, laugh with me …
But their eyes are always closed. Veiled, inaccessible.